Hmmph

Do you know what it's like to be the only one showing emotion? You're crying while the other person looks perfectly fine. It makes you want to just throw something at them. They say in relationships one person always loves the other more. For once I wanna know what it feels like to be loved more, I'm always the one with the most feelings. I'm the  one begging them or crying. Always me. It would be nice to have someone fight for me, make me feel like they want this more than I do. That's never the case. I hate the fact that I care too much. I wish I could just be like a guy, not care at all, or atleast care alot less. I'm tired of crying, I just want to be everything that someone wants. I want to make them happy all the  time. Make them feel how they make me feel. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy. Maybe I'm just the forever alone type of person. I've made mistakes, I've lied when I should have been honest, I guess that's what fucked me over in the end, if I  was just honest then maybe he would believe me now, maybe I wouldn't be so sad and so broken. I guess I'll never know :/